Okay all you blog readers out there (the ones I know about and the ones I don't!)....now is your chance to speak up. This isn't a post about what we have done or a celebration or anything like that this is a cry out to see if I am alone or if others can relate and to just KEEP IT REAL!
I know that I often post about the "fun" things we do. The cute things the boys have done or said. Etc etc. Well, I want to do this post to just say I am not a perfect mom and I do not have it all figured out and I hope I do not give others that impression. I have thought about this post for a while and just finally decided to do it.
Acutally, the decision came today when I was putting on a load of laundry and looked beside my washing machine where I stack cases of coke, paper towels, juice boxes, etc and noticed all the dust and lint and everthing gathered there and how dusty even the electric swiffer is (an indication of how little it is used...I just grab the broom). I thought to myself "I bet no one elses house looks like this." Then the thoughts went on.... "I bet no one else has dust bunnies or little spider webs in the corners or in the lights way high up where you cannot reach!" I am just positive that everyone elses houses are spotless and I just want to know HOW??!! My personality has a hard time with this. I like to have a list and check it all off and I never realized that this phase of life would be that the job is NEVER done! I used to love making my lists in college and seeing everything marked off and sitting back and thinking I have nothing I have to do.....I would like that feeling for a moment:)
So here are my questions to all of you out there....
1. Are there dust bunnies in your house? Those tiny little spider webs that you really cannot see except when the sun hits them? Do you really move your furniture and fridge etc to clean behind it....because my OCD really thinks it should be done:)
2. What is dinner time like at your house? Do you have to constantly say...'sit down', 'settle down', 'eat', 'you have to take 4 bites', 'eat', 'no you cannot have a treat you haven't touched your supper', 'no I will not feed you, 'eat'!!!! And yes I do sometimes end up feeding them, I have to set a timer so they will eat and they will sing and talk and not EAT! Is this just my house? (like I would tend to believe)
3. The boys have well visits on Friday and Jason has already been told he will go with me. I usually take the boys to appts without help but this time they will probably both be getting shots and I am not doing that alone. SOOOO do I tell Caden ahead of time and listen to the ongoing whining about it? Even when he heard me make the appt I had to listen to the whining about not wanting to go for days....any thoughts??
4. Do you yell? I sometimes hear a voice come out of me that I never knew was in there. It is odd too because I didn't come from a family that yelled. Just when I think I have a grip on it I get tested.
5. Do you make your kids rest just so you can rest? Today Caden kept asking "mommy when are you going to go to sleep?" I know he said this because Blake naps and I let Caden sit with me in my room while I get caught up on email or bills etc and I usually fall asleep....then he sneaks off probably and does whatever:) What do you do when they outgrow their naps....I want to make them still have quiet time or rest time but how much down time is it for me if I am having to constantly tell them to get back in their room or to be quiet??? Do you make them stay in their bed or just in their room and for how long???
I had so many more of these and for now they have left me but it is a start. Maybe I will just start popping these out there as they come to me. Just seeking wisdom from others and keeping it real!!
5 comments:
Okay Lea that is a really cute picture first of all. Second yes I have dust bunnies lots of them. Come over I will show them to you. Yes I yell I promise. Yes I feed Ashley sometimes, or I just let her go hungry. She will not even try a bite or two most times. So then she goes hungry if she at least trys it then she might get something else. Tell him about the shots in the morning. I had to lay on Emily I never thought I would have to do that. I can't remember all the questions but I so promise you are NOT alone!!!
Okay, yes I think you are being too hard on yourself. And...
1. We have dust and cobwebs. I clean the bathrooms and mop once a week and keep the kitchen fairly clean and try to get the living room picked up of toys before we go to bed. Everything else will have to wait until kids are older or we hire someone to clean. The only time I move a fridge is if it's broken or we're cleaning prior to moving out.
2. We eat dinner as a family and try to have family conversation. Sometimes Will eats, sometimes he doesn't. If he is very disruptive or makes a deliberate mess, he leaves the table. I'm harsh, but I want him to learn table manners and he won't starve before breakfast.
3. Take help to the appointment, and don't worry about what anybody in the office thinks--most kids cry/scream/kick about shots. However, a recent study showed that children who coughed on command during their shots reported less pain. We've been having kids cough (4 years old and older) during their shots, and have had some really good results. Granted, it didn't work for Will (he cried during and after), but you can try it with Caden.
4. Yes. I don't blog about it because that's one of the things I'd rather not remember. I remember a few big spankings from when I was little, but I don't remember much of the yelling and spankings I got--I'm fine with that and I think my mom is too. :-)
5. Our kids both (Praise the Lord) still nap. If Will balks, I make him play quietly in his room--which usually makes him sleepy so he eventually naps after all. But I am totally going to do what you're doing when he tries to give the nap up. I just hope I can trust him not to burn the house down while I'm resting. :-)
PS...when I read my comment, I think it sounds like I am confident in how I handle things. Which is not true--I also beat myself up over the house not being clean, not being as patient with the kids as I should be, etc. But I think that "mommy guilt" is not very productive--mostly drives myself (and John if I vent to him) crazy. So I'm trying to squelch it when I recognize it!
Thank you guys!! So glad there are other moms to learn from!
lea, i'm laughing as i read this, because you are the most normal mom i know. my house is such a mess most of the time and don't look under or behind anything (it's dirty under there so no one can see it), i scream at my kids for no reason, pray, pray, pray that they will both take a nap or at least lay down AT THE SAME TIME, and i always say kids will not starve, they will eat eventually!
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